| I don't even know what's going on anymore. I don't know why I can't stop crying, or where all this despair even began. I feel like someone who just realized he's drowning. Why didn't I notice it before? Or more like, how did I end up treading into deeper and deeper waters? It hurts so much that I can't breath anymore. It stings so much that I can't see anymore. |
| |
| I don't want to think that this is really what the world is like. But I don't know how to ask for help. Or more like, whenever I ask for it, I'm ultimately let down. I can do this on my own, can't I? I mean, I don't want to. But it feels like I'm all that I have left. And -- yes, just as I expected -- I am nowhere near enough. God, can you reveal yourself to me?
I don't want to believe that I really am alone. |
| |
| I haven't had a panic attack in years, so when I had one again last night I was surprised at how reminiscent of the past it really was. I thought a few years would change me; I thought I would be a little different now. But I get the same shakes as before, the same hyperventilating breaths and dead stare into the off-whiteness of my wall. I guess some things never change. |
| |
| I don't talk about love a lot if it doesn't involve my past experience with a certain person (#youknowwhoyouare...right?), but lately you haven't been on my mind.
Or really -- you have -- but I'm not residing with you in my thoughts. We're not the "one" that we used to be, the "star-crossed lovers" that never worked.
But that's okay.
I'm okay. Without you. |
| |
